BROOM Breaking News

Mad Marathon
(The World) Silly sportspeople from all over the world run. They run risks, they run riskily, but many mainly run for 42.195 km. This is called a “marathon”.
Now, basically there is nothing wrong in carefully keeping fit. Yet this awesome occupation is, historically, hazardous. The first runner running the 42.195 km actually dropped dead when arriving in Athens. He was a mean messenger sent to tell the Athenians that their amazing army had won at the mires of Marathon. Who against? No idea. This is supposedly legend. The real first marathon runner was poor Pheidippides who ran from Athens to Sparta in just two days to call for help against the Persians (army, not cats) in 490 BC. However, since “spartathon” isn’t that catchy, the lovely legendary marathon made history. However, please do not dro dead upon arrival! (MF&BC)

The Cool Comb of Bingen
(Bingen/ Germany) Archaeologists avidly announced that they found a newsworthy new item from awesome antiquity: a cool comb.
The amazing archaeologists were dutifully digging up Roman remains (weird walls, that is, not beastly bones) when they finally found the awesome antique crazy comb. They see it as a spectacular sensation for it literally links antiquity with the freaky Frankon age along the River Rhine. Apparently, Romans ruled their heads of hair without cool combs until they finally found a way to gruesome Germany and found the hairy heathens with beautifully braided and carefully combed looks. Wanting to copy these, they also began to use cool combs. That seems the real reason why the absolutely unspectacular find of a simple comb made it onto the main news page in a regional newspaper. Or can you think of a better one? (BC)

newBROOM-e-gram

February 1st 2015
Some sports event taking place in a soup bowl was played in the USA. Some patriots won. Fat surprise, that, in America.

February 2nd 2015
The International Court in Den Haag rules that neither Serbia nor Croatia committed genocide. The two states had accused each other for crimes against their peoples. Actually, they both committed atrocities…

February 14th 2015
In a terrorist attack on Copenhagen several people die. Yet again some moron misused religion as a reason for killing.

February 16th 2015
The finance ministers of the European Union meet in Brussels to discuss whether the (rather sexy) new Greek team of prime minister and finance minister have a good plan to get Greece back on track. We also learn a new word: Grexit.

March 2nd 2015
In South America, archaeologists find the remains of a huge ciy complete with pyramids. They believe it is part of the famous White City of ancient legend.

March 13th 2015
The first penis was transplanted in South Africa. Honestly, a willy transplant??? Aren't there any more necessary transplants around???

March 20th 2015
Day of the Great Eclipse. The few lucky people who had clear skies saw the sun go dark. No, guys, this was NOT caused by Death Eaters. Nor was the Ministry of Magic at fault. Just the moon.

March 31st 2015
The day of the storm - or so you could say. Because of that storm and yet another raid of some moronic Death Eaters, newBROOM was offline again. We try our best, but - as you already know from your radio broadcasts by PotterWatch - it is not easy escaping all the morons around.

On Finance and Fairness

The Greek financial crisis, which is really a crisis of the Greek banks now extended towards the poorest people of that country, dominates the news. And well it does, for we are witnessing the downfall of a country which had its fair share of downfalls in history.
The new Greek government is fighting against windmills in a way. The easiest way to get more money would be raising taxes - and the rich Greeks could pay a LOT more! But they would also leave the country in droves, thus withdrawing the sorely needed charity as well. It's a hard decision, then.
Now, there are the Germans who, in their time as Nazis, forced the Greeks to pay them money. The modern Germans could pay that back. And they should! This is a historic thing, yes, and today's Germany and its inhabitants are far away from Nazi Germany. Still, the legacy cannot be talked away. If they do not want to pay outright, why not lower the debts for Greece? It might give them the breathing space they need.
Oh, and, dear media: Please do not focus on such stupid issues like whether the Greek ministers wear ties or not, whether the finance minister wears a Burberry scarf, whether their shirts are neatly tucked into their trousers or not. That is so unnecessary! Stick to the facts and try to be as objective as possible. Thanks. (BC)